This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
