i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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