Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?

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(406): View more from Montana

Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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(909): View more from California

I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.

(1-909): View more from California

Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.

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(369): View more from California

Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?

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(208): View more from Idaho

Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.

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(970): View more from Colorado

my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day

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