Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
