i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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