OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
