When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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