I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
