we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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