I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
