i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
