I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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