Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
