I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
