I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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