It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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