this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
