HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
