This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Holy shit dude........stairs
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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