You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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