there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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