We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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