Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
