Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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