..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
