Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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