i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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