So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
