bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
