What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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