Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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