I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
