I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
