Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
