Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize