he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
