i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
