Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
