That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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