drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
