Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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