its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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