We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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