i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
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my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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