I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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