i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
