I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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