Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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