I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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