i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
