Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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