I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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