I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
