I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you had me at cake vodka
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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