I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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