There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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