there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
