I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
