I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I touched a dick in church today
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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