Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
soo... how was my night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
