tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize