I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize