I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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