just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize