I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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