I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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