I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
